Dear ones so many of you are defeated by your own behavior, by the defensive posturing that you allow to be your go-to behavior when you’ve become triggered by outside stimuli. This is not a peaceful or enjoyable way to live your life and it requires from you the automatic adrenaline reaction of fight or flight; which can only end in you becoming exhausted to the point of weary surrender, which, in turn, reinforces the concept that you can be victimized by anyone or anything outside yourself. Once you believe you can be a victim, it’s only a short slide down the vibrational ladder until you become a victim and give up your sovereign rights as a creator.
The thing you’re defending yourself from is a product of your own imagining and not a real source of threat
We want you to understand that everything that touches your life does so because of a choice you’ve made. Yes, you’re just that powerful and wishing it away won’t change that truth. So, we want you to understand that it’s your thoughts and emotions that are steering the ship in which you’re sailing. No one is doing anything to you. Since no is doing anything to you, there’s no one and nothing to defend against. Therefore, there’s no need for defense mechanisms or defensive reactions. Everything that’s coming at you, first had to come from you. The thing you’re defending yourself from is a product of your own imagining and not a real source of threat. The things that you’ve carefully established boundaries from and reactions to are things that could not and do not exist without your personal interaction. This means that you’re defending yourself from yourself so the defense mechanisms you’ve created that react to outside stimuli are just reacting to your imagination and not real or present dangers. In other words, you’re safe. You’re safe all the time and you’re safe always. However, you can believe that you’re in danger and you’ll create circumstances that will make you believe this is true. So what do you do?
Nothing is happening to you, you’re anticipating the pain by drawing on the past and jumping ahead to the future
First, you must become present. When you’re reacting defensively to anything you’re not reacting to what’s happening (except for the very rare occasion that you are in danger and then reacting would be appropriate). No, you’re reacting to something that happened in in the past that ended up causing you emotional or physical pain. You’ve established a dialogue in your mind that states, “I was hurt by these kinds of statements, actions or events before. I recognize this pattern and I refuse to be hurt again so I’m going to react defensively, get the jump on the other party because I’m nobody’s fool and I’m not going to be hurt again.” Then you give the silent command to yourself, “Defenses up” and your body goes into hyper-drive as it attempts to figure out how best to defend against the oncoming attack. Your defense will vary between the fight response which could be harsh words or physical violence to the flight response which will vary between withdrawing as the turtle withdraws itself into its shell for protection to physically removing yourself from the vicinity of the threat. Whatever you choose it will feel like the only thing you can do. You won’t feel good about your choice, you’re more likely to be terrified of your choice but you’ll perceive it to be the only logical solution that will protect you from the harm that’s threatening your peace. This seems logical and even intelligent until you realize that nothing is happening to you, you’re anticipating the pain by drawing on the past and jumping ahead to the future.
It’s only by being present that you can recognize and be grateful for all that you have
If you had insisted that you be present in this moment, instead of looking back or leaping forward, you would see the impact of your actions. This is where discipline comes in. You must stop allowing yourself to be anywhere else except this moment. Instead of relying on defense mechanisms to live your life begin depending on being in the present moment to live your life. If you’re present in what’s happening now, you’ll be able to react appropriately. You won’t be using the yardstick of the past to measure how you should react today or tomorrow. Instead, when you’re fully present you’ll be consumed with gratitude for the blessings you possess. Presence and gratitude support each other because they both require awareness. When you’re behind or ahead you’re not here mentally and you cannot summon gratitude for the place you’ve left or at which you have not yet arrived. It’s only by being present that you can recognize and be grateful for all that you have. All you have is now, this moment, this point in time, don’t squander it by being elsewhere and then wonder why you feel discontent.
Without judging yourself for acquiring the behavior simply observe your physical and emotional reaction when your defense mechanisms are unleashed
Now that you’ve returned your focus to your present and you’ve agreed to act from this moment you must engage in a second step to effectively deal with your defense mechanisms. You must become the examiner, the observer, the curious one who begins analyzing rather than participating in knee-jerk reactions. During this step, you must enter the realm of the heart and get serious about what you will allow from yourself. If you’re content being reactive and victimized do not enter the energetic heart space but if you want to retake control of your life, you must become present focused and examine your go-to defensive behaviors. Begin by asking yourself, “How is this serving me? What do I gain from acting or reacting in this way? Does this behavior represent me or does it make me feel small and weak?” Without judging yourself for acquiring the behavior simply observe your physical and emotional reaction when your defense mechanisms are unleashed. Does the use of them make you feel like a victim or a victor? Do you feel in control or out of control? Do you admire or pity this person? Once you understand how your actions are making you feel, you have a choice to allow them to continue as is or to put into place actions that feel good to you, that make you feel proud, in control and victorious. Now is the time to do the energetic work to clear the heart space. As long as it’s filled with hurt and pain your actions will be ruled by that trauma. Release the past, make peace with what was and let it go. Then return to the present and create a peaceful now.
Instead of acting reflexively or defensively learn to act thoughtfully
No one can force anything upon you. You are always in charge but you must return to the present moment and take control of your thoughts and actions. Instead of acting reflexively or defensively learn to act thoughtfully. By being present in every moment you can choose the thought, emotion and action that feels best to you and you become a victorious being living in the high place of love, joy and peace.
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Dr. Marcia Martin M Ed, Ph D – The Heart Healer, is a spiritual empowerment counselor, metaphysical minister, bestselling author, public speaker, and clairaudient angel communicator specializing in helping people heal their relationship with themselves. By healing the heart of all past pain and trauma you’ll be able to establish and maintain healthy relationships with yourself and all others so you can live a successful life.
Her unique, heart-centered, energetic, healing approach, the Angel Heart Healing Technique, enables you to build the perfect relationship with yourself and helps you answer the questions, “Who am I? Why am I here? and Where am I going?”
Marcia will help you release your greatest fear so you can achieve your biggest dreams as you heal your heart and transform your life.
Schedule your, thirty-minute Angel Heart Healing Breakthrough mini-session at https://www.thehearthealingfoundation.org/workshops-and-classes or join the My Heart’s Desire Spiritual Community at https://www.thehearthealingfoundation.org/self-help-and-empowerment and be supported by Marcia and other like-minded individuals who are committed to personal empowerment.
Spiritual Messages from The Heart Healer 