Dear ones when you ask about the art or the craft of loving yourself you do indeed pose a question of great benefit for you cannot truly love another until you have found all the various parts and pieces of yourself to be lovable. This doesn’t mean that you’re not seeking to improve many aspects or that everything should remain as it is without change but it does mean that you’re able to look at the various aspects and say with meaning that you’re still able to love the whole, the entirety that is you.
You’re admitting that this aspect of yourself is not as great as it could be and you’re loving yourself enough to do the work to make you easier to love
Let us explain, when you spend your days finding fault, passing judgment and picking apart that which you are, you cut yourself off from the growth that comes from building up instead of tearing down. Let us give you an example of loving yourself in action. Perhaps you have a habit you desire to change so you set about doing the things necessary to acquire a new behavior pattern. You may decide to buy different foods or eat smaller portions if you desire to lose weight or you may decide to change your routine if you want to break a habit. These are examples of self-loving are proactive behavior. It’s you looking at something that could be improved and then you taking the necessary steps to enact that improvement. You’re admitting that this aspect of yourself is not as great as it could be and you’re loving yourself enough to do the work to make you easier to love.
Before you can make a change to something better you must first accept what is, just the way it is
But there is a tricky, subtle part to this self-love which is where most of you are falling down. You say to yourselves, “I must do this thing, change this behavior or be something else if I am to be truly acceptable and if I am to be truly able to love myself.” Herein lies the problem, here is where the block forms and this is why you have difficulty believing that you’re worthy and lovable. Before you can make a change to something better you must first accept what is, just the way it is. By accepting what is you soften any resistance you may have had toward changing or improving it but this is a complex subject so let us clarify. When you look at yourself and say, “I have this habit I don’t like, therefore that part of me is unacceptable.” you’re setting yourself up for stagnation. Now you’re in a battle with the ego that doesn’t want to be told there’s something wrong with itself. As long as you are fighting against yourself you cannot win, you can never truly love yourself and you can never move from the vicious cycle of forward, backward, right back where you started.
We suggest that you look at that part of you that appears to be substandard and begin to find everything within that fault that’s good
Therefore, we suggest that you look at that part of you that appears to be substandard and begin to find everything within that fault that’s good. Find the hidden gems that are lovable. For example, if you desire to change a habit then you must begin looking at what that habit has been providing. Perhaps the habit makes you feel calm, therefore, you would say, “I love myself so much I have found a way to stay calm. Now I’m going to find a new way to stay calm that doesn’t have side effects. I’m choosing this new behavior because I love myself, I’ve earned this more positive habit and I deserve it. I’m worth the effort because I love myself enough to accomplish this.” This kind of self-talk is a building up process. It recognizes value and emphasizes that value within you.
If you want to make progress that is steady and relatively easy, your best option is to look at what is right and do more of that which is right, that which you do want and that which is fulfilling than all the parts of the self will be working together to bring you the improvement you desire
In contrast, those of you who have no self-love will say, “I am stupid for having this habit. I must change, I must improve if I am to love myself.” Now the ego is defensive and will actively assert itself so your task becomes impossible. We suggest that you make friends with and fall in love with every aspect of yourself through a gentle building up process that encourages instead of a harsh, critical approach that tears down. If you want to make progress that is steady and relatively easy, your best option is to look at what is right and do more of that which is right, that which you do want and that which is fulfilling than all the parts of the self will be working together to bring you the improvement you desire. Stop fighting yourself and hoping to beat yourself at your own game and begin cooperating with yourself so that you are a unified front moving toward the goal. Picking at yourself, being self-deprecating and critical is a backward way of moving forward.
The natural desire of the physical expression is to improve, it is to grow and to adapt with smarter, more efficient behavior
We suggest that you turn everything around and take pride in all of you that’s right, be thrilled with all of you that’s doing well and encourage those aspects of yourself that would benefit from improving by showering them with loving acceptance and encouragement. The natural desire of the physical expression is to improve, it is to grow and to adapt with smarter, more efficient behavior. However, the body/ego that feels threatened will do everything in its power to halt all progress for the sake of preservation. Throw off those shackles of self-criticism, become gentle loving and self-affirming and then watch as you blossom into a you that is truly easy to love.
********
Dr. Marcia Martin M Ed, Ph D – The Heart Healer, is a spiritual empowerment counselor, metaphysical minister, bestselling author, public speaker, and clairaudient angel communicator specializing in helping people heal their relationship with themselves. By healing the heart of all past pain and trauma you’ll be able to establish and maintain healthy relationships with yourself and all others so you can live a successful life.
Her unique, heart-centered, energetic, healing approach, the Angel Heart Healing Technique, enables you to build the perfect relationship with yourself and helps you answer the questions, “Who am I? Why am I here? and Where am I going?”
Marcia will help you release your greatest fear so you can achieve your biggest dreams as you heal your heart and transform your life.
Schedule your, thirty-minute Angel Heart Healing Breakthrough mini-session at https://www.thehearthealingfoundation.org/workshops-and-classes or join the My Heart’s Desire Spiritual Community at https://www.thehearthealingfoundation.org/self-help-and-empowerment and be supported by Marcia and other like-minded individuals who are committed to personal empowerment.
Spiritual Messages from The Heart Healer 